


Hush Little Baby

by Jaina (effervescible)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, family fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 01:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effervescible/pseuds/Jaina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo didn't expect to become a teen parent before he ever had sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush Little Baby

**Author's Note:**

> First written in 2007 in a fit of whimsy. Retroactively AU to the end of the Hueco Mundo arc, as this was written before it was completed.

As with all the battles Ichigo has witnessed and fought of late, it comes down to a clash of wills.

"No," Rukia says. "Candy bars after dinner rot little Hollows' teeth."

The rude noise that follows indicates what Nell thinks of that. Rukia probably knew enough to dodge the spray of spit. She is, Ichigo reflects ruefully, already better at this than he is.

Not that he asked for this responsibility. But with great power comes great pain in the ass.

"Nell is not a Hollow!" the little girl bellows. "Nell is an _arrancar_!"

Ichigo winces and buries his head farther under his pillow. Rukia doesn't yell back, though. There's a pause, and then he can only hear harsh murmurings that he can't quite make out. 

Good. 

Rapid footsteps disappear out the door and down the hall.

"You could take an interest." Rukia prods him hard in the spine a minute later, prompting him to jerk upright.

"I was trying to take a nap! It's not like I'm the kid's father!"

"No, you're just the man who brought her home from Hueco Mundo and provided her with room, board, and no discipline structure to speak of. Nothing like a father." She sits cross-legged in his desk chair and picks up a dog-eared manga.

Ichigo ignores that. "What did you do to her?"

"We negotiated a deal."

"The terms?"

"She brushes her teeth. You tell her a bedtime story and tuck her in."

He can feel the veins popping. "It's a _closet_ , Rukia, there's nothing to tuck!"

"You'll make do."

"Ichigoooo!" Nell bounds back into the room and leaps into his lap. "Nell cleaned her teeth! See?" She pulls her mouth wide open with tiny fingers so he can. "Now it's time to tell Nell a story!"

She grins and Rukia smirks from her seat and Ichigo wonders exactly when he became a family man and how he now has _two_ crazy girls on his back. Nell hugs him around the waist and he can't bring himself to peel her off. "Yeah, okay," he says. "Fine."

Yeah, he's pretty fucked.


End file.
